Thursday, December 24, 2009

a problem shared is attention gained

I believed that when I am starting to complain about my fate, there will always someone who stand up and tell me that there are other person who is not as lucky as I am. I always try to counter back but it definitely will end up that I am nothing against what is being said. I am definitely on the same track as the person who said that to me. I am still a lucky person.

However, one thing for sure, how lucky you are with your life, you still cannot run from having your own problem. It can be personal which you do not want to share with others or it is also can be something that you dont even bother if others knowing about it. As for me, I am not a person who loves to tell my every stories and make myself just like a 'living library'. No, I am not that type of human being. I leave everything to myself because I know I have the confident level as high as the mount Everest, that I will find my way back.

Talking based on my first experience, I am just another egoistic person who dreams to soar high but ended up got bitten by the eagle. Look at yourself, you just a butterfly. You can't fly high. Well, a person like me, by convicting a mistake, I learn my lesson.

At this point of me writing this, I am trying to change for a better. I create my own support group. I learn this from one motivational book that I read and I believed that it is really beneficial to me. This particular group is consisting those people who always having positive thoughts about me and keep pushing me, reminding about what to do and also, providing courage whenever I am feeling hopeless. They could do it in many ways, virtually or invisible. Both ways would work as long as they are purely from heart with the message of genuinely trying to pull up my spirit to fight for my rights! This is how I am still could escaping myself from doing something that is beyond my limit, going against my principle in life.

Besides, continuous prayers, asking for help from The Above is definitely another way to lift up the spirit. You could only do the planning but He is the one who determines everything. You might think you have done enough, but if He doesnt want to allow you, you are definitely could not make it. But remember, a reminder for myself too, as a Muslim, our prayer is our sword. Hold it tight, InsyaAllah you will succeed. By having said that, you need to beleive in what you are praying for. Believe that you will definitely get it. If it is not sooner, it might be later. Keep the prayers going.

Therefore, for those out there who are feeling lost or down, just remember that you are not alone. Create your own support group and keep the prayers going. Believe that you are going to make it and be prepared of what is going to be decided for you. At this moment, the choice it is not yours, but it definitely the best thing that can happen to you. Keep the spirit going and sooner or later, you will ace it. Never give up and remember, 'a problem shared is attention gained'. Keep that in mind, and start soaring!

Thursday, November 26, 2009

one more is leaving

it is a sudden decision. one more is leaving. leaving me alone here. i know it is just for temporary but knowing the fact that the number of my friends are decreased drastically due to the same reason - balik kampung, it makes me missing home more. but dont worry hanafi, your time will definitely come.

when mentioning about the word being left alone, i think it is better to be that way. less trouble and less complicated. and most importantly, less pretending. yes! dont get me wrong, i'm talking this in general, not dierecting to any specific person. i guess you guys should have known why the word 'thepretender' came from by now.

but hey. my friends are coming over to visit me!
yeay! they are definitely gonna make my days while they are here.
fatin, rahimy, faaris and shikin!
cepatlah! jom camwhore :P!

anyway, some of you guys might have read about my previous post and due to some personal reason, i had to keep it for a while until everything is clear. gonna repost it later.

p/s: tomorrow is hari raya aidiladha and i'm thinking of making mee udang! i'm not gonna wish u guys yet coz i'm thinking of making a special one tonight. and now i think i need to go to get the stuffs for my mee udang. chiow ;)

Friday, November 20, 2009

hi hi bye bye

wearing that robe can have more than one meaning. it is up to where do u see it.
i am a visual person thus making me to have more advantage in interpreting this into my mind.

all the best


that are four. it can be more.

anyway, for a person like me, i'm gonna be the last one to have the opportunity to be given the first two wishes. may everything runs smoothly and hopefully, being the last means being the best. just like when you are in the corporate hierarchy, the CEO will always be in the last room.

but that doesn't stop me to feel the sadness of seeing people that i know, leaving me alone to survive. it is not a big matter but it is still making your heart to ponder.

to all my friends out there, may our friendship last forever. good luck ;)

Tuesday, November 17, 2009


try to look for the definition of the word courtesy

1. excellence of manners or social conduct; polite behavior.
2. a courteous, respectful, or considerate act or expression.
3. indulgence, consent, or acquiescence: a “colonel” by courtesy rather than by right.
4. favor, help, or generosity: The costumes for the play were by courtesy of the local department store.
5. a curtsy.
6. done or performed as a matter of courtesy or protocol: a courtesy call on the mayor.
7. offered or provided free by courtesy of the management: While waiting to board the airplane, we were provided with courtesy coffee.

I believe everyone should know how to apply this in their daily life. It teaches us not to be someone who is self-centered and looking down on people.

Respecting and appreciating others especially those who are close to us will definitely make us realize the power of the word 'courtesy'.

Monday, November 16, 2009


Sydney is definitely a great place. I just realised it after nearly 3 years leaving as a Sydneysider. Ok, it should be half a year, minusing my stay in Dewan Malaysia.

Staying outside has broaden my views. I have more freedom and full control of myself. Since I am now becoming more challenging with myself, staying there will just make me living in my extremely comfort zone. I need to go beyond it to experience life and to learn the art of its essence. As far as now, I could say that I have no regret with my choice.

I am currently had fallen in love with the Sydney beaches. Summer and beach are very synonym. That makes Sydney at its best for the moment. To my surprise, I just realized about the excitement of being blow by the Sydney breeze while walking by the beach which is definitely the experience that none of us want to miss while having the chance to be here. Try it and you gonna love it just like I do.

Tomorrow one of my hsemates is going back to his hometown.
And that makes me missing home so much. I wanna go home. How I wish I can be the one who controls the time...

Sunday, November 8, 2009


hey hey hey

i'm back with my new watch! haha

ok people, this is where i need u guys to help me. i'm now having my semester break and i'm not sure what should i do within my free two months before my summer school start. here are some of the plans. help me help me to fill my free time so i wont be found dead due to lack of activities to do.

1. read books! yup i have bought a lot of books so that i can at least learn something from them. i'm thinking of exploring more about architecture, general knowledge, motivational and inner-self qualities. i found that they are very interesting. here are my explanations:

i) architecture: as an architecture student, i found myself lack of passion in this field. i am still at the stage of where the beginner stand eventhough i am already finished with my 3rd year at uni. thus, i need to read more about architecture, to polish my understanding about this field. at the same time, i need to start playing with my ideas and creativity so that it would be easy for me to go through my second phase of being an architecture student here in sydney. my plan is to read and understand every single articles in the architecture magazine that i have bought. i'm gonna buy more archi stuffs and try to make myself familiar with the architecture language. it is another foreign language that needs my deep understanding before being able to communicate well through my design and ideas. those who could help me with this thing, feel free to do so cause i'm definitely willing to learn.

ii) general knowledge: i need this so that i can at least put some facts while communicating with others. i learn this from my squash friends which are mostly Australian. every week after finishing with my weekly squash tournament, we would have some dinner between the players. here, they would be discussing about their daily activities, sharing infromation and discussing about any news they found intrigued to themselves. that is why, by feeding me with general knowledges, i can at least bring myself up to be part of the group. i dont want them to think that i'm nothing more that just a good squash player. i want to an all rounder ;)

iii) motivational: well, i love this field so much. it makes me feel great not just because it can motivate me but also it is actually can help me to boost up the confident for all the people around me. i love helping people and i love to make people happy. by exploring more about this field, i could improvise my skills especially in providing more realistic examples to be used in real life.

iv) inner-self qualities: this is the most interesting field to explore. everyone has their own potential to succeed but most of them do not know how to exploid it to be their main strength. this basically related to the self-confident of every human being in this world.

2. knowing the roots. i'm planning to explore about the Islamic History starting from the beginning of Islam. it is including about the life of our beloved Prophet Muhamma SAW, during the brilliance time of Islam and the cause for it to fall. i want to explore more so that i can relate it with my daily life, using the facts to motivate myself and also to counter any uninvited argument. Looking forward to finish this before next year.

3. take more beautiful and meanigful photos. the problem here is i dont know what should be the subject. any ideas?

three is enough i guess. i have to make sure that i must finish all of these before new year. besides all these, i wanna do more part time job! it improves my PR and communication with people.

and if you guys have more ideas on how i could 'walk the talk', feel free to drop your comments.

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

There is always hope

hey hola huuulaaaa hoop!

apa khabar semuaaaaaaaaaaaa?? sehattt???

the reason i'm back here just to tell you guys that i am now have finished with my 3rd year as an archi student! it seems like i just came to sydney yesterday and today, i'm done with it. pray that my results gonna be good so that i can further with my master next year.

anyway, what i want to share with you guys after this is about an experience that is just encountered by me, during my final presentation last thursday. "THE POWER OF DOA"

I started preparing for my final presentation a week earlier hoping that everything would run as what I had planned. However, it didnt turned out like what I had planned earlier. I only managed to finish my design model only the night before the presentation. Then I had to rush to do all of other requirements that were suppose to present during the presentation as well. Nothing else were in my mind rather that concentration with my works and the prayers to Allah with the hope that I could finish every single work by 9am the next day. But then, I only managed to finish all of the drawings and my design model but not my section model.

At first I thought I should be fine. Then later while taking my bath, it suddenly strucked my mind that, that model might be the cause for me not to further with my master. I was afraid. I had mixed feeling and my mind start to be negative, leaving me with no hope to hold on. After putting on my best attire, I kneel down and pray to Allah hoping that everyhting would be just fine. It worked! I got back the confident eventhough not much. At least I still got the courage to bring all my stuffs to uni on time. 10am sharp, I arrived at the studio.

However, different story happened here. I was very impressed with all of my other classmates' works. Not all, but those who had to present early. Then straight away my level of confident fall to the ground! ZERO. I packed all my stuffs and try to go to a place to be alone. There were some more works that I need to finish up. I had to make sure that my presentation gonna run just good, or at least it could still be considered in the intermediate group, not worst. I did some detail with my drawings, put all the drawings together and started to think on how should I do my presentation.

After finished, I went back to my class and asked my tutor about when is the time for my presentation. 2.40pm and it was 11.30am at that moment. I straight away packed up all my stuffs again, went back to finish my section model. However, while on the way back, it suddenly strucked me that I wont gonna make it. I am gonna screw my presentation. No confident. MINUS!

Then came to my mind about my mother. I asked her to call me back. Then I told her everything. Every single thing that bordering me at the moment. I had lost my confident. I felt like to skip the presentation and do it on other day. I cried! ( I know it sounds unmanly but that was what happened at that moment) I just cant control my mind from being extremely negative. The only think that kept running in my head was the word 'fail'. It scared me a lot.

However, the comfort words from a mother; the person that gave birth to me, the person that knows me the most, the person that is always at my side no matter what and the person that is considered as my positive inspiration; at that moment had at least cured the cancer that was in the progress to kill me. The more she kept talking, the more strength I got to fight back. I was nothing at the beginning of the call but in the end, I got the courage to finish the model and prepared for my presentation. I did it! My mom called me back just after I finished everything. Just in time.

I went back to uni with all my finished stuffs. I was the last person to present. Before the presentation I remember my mom's told me to just be confident and tell the juries everything that I had prepared. That was the first thing in my mind before I started explaining about my design idea.

Finally, when I was done with my part, then the jury went by saying that he liked my way of thinking and my design idea. And before everything approaching the ending, a sincere smile from my tutor with him thanking me for my presentation had really made my day! I did great! Alhamdulillah.

I smiled. The first smile for the entire design studio for this session. The most expensive smile.

Thousands of thanks to my mom who kept praying for my success. She is definitely my no 1. And for my friends out there who did the same. Thank you so much! Not forgotten, you who kept inspiring me with all the wisdoms and you, who always tried to help me eventhough you failed ;P. Thank you ;)

Something for all of you guys out there, dont loose hope. NEVER. When you feel unsecure, go look for you 'spirit builder', they will help you to survive. And dont forget Allah, HE is always there to help. Dont stop your praying to Him. InsyaAllah, the ending gonna be a smile.

p/s: Still waiting for my final result. Do me a favor, pls pray the ending gonna be a happy ending. Thank you ;)

Thursday, October 22, 2009

take 5!

i'm having my take 5 at the moment
and suddenly, an idea stroke my mind telling me about a wish list
and here i am writing down my wish list at the moment

1. MAS flight ticket SYD-KL for end of January next year. Yes! Cant wait to go back for the best birthday present for me. But, bile MAS nak sale nihhh???!!! A question for those reading this, should I buy the ticket now or wait until January because MAS always having their SALE on January right? hmmmm

2. Nikon D90 DSLR. The price is about AUD 2000 plus. phewww. Menanges tgk harga! But it is worth to own one considering myself as the architecture student. This is just a wish and I'm still have not come out with any final decision yet. But definitely, one day I am gonna own a DSLR. So summer nih kene part time byk2 lah! huhuhu

3. Watch. Eventhough I am not a person who is so into watch, but I am always dreaming of having a watch that is bronze in color (or probably silver) so that I would look like as a professional. hehehe. At the moment, I prefer to use my AUD15 Q&Q watch, leaving my leather GUESS back at my room. The only reason because it is silver, small and cute! haha

4. White glasses! hahaha I love to look striking and white specs will surely make me the centre of attention. It boost up my confident and always make others to realize about my existence without even talking to them. Will get it when I get back in Malaysia. murah!!! ;)

5. A new laptop. Still not deciding yet.

Owh no. The thinking process has made my five minutes turned into nearly 30 mins. Gonna stop now. wohhhhhhhhhhhhooooooo! Selamat Berjaya Hanafi Rahmat ;)

Tuesday, October 13, 2009


Hey ya hey ya!

I got things to share and that explains why I'm here.

I just finished watching KAMI THE MOVIE. I like the movie but that doesnt mean I'm selling my pride by saying its the best. I just like it.

It's about our real life and the main issue is about FRIENDSHIP.

Being someone who easily get touched when it comes about FAMILY and FRIENDSHIP, thats the only reason for me to say I like this movie. I like the part when Abu remembering his brother. I like the scene when Ali felt guilty for his stupidity. I like it when Adi said to Sofie that everyone has their own secret and of course, the best actress in the movie, Liyana Jasmay of being Lynn who was being unbiased in doing her review of Ali's band to be published in the magazine. The story line is just awesome.

Apart from that, the scene that really touched me and ring a bell for me to make a short review about this movie is when Abu accidentally had been stalked by Boy, when he was actually trying to save Ali. That was superb! It brought back the memories, where my journey began and friendship was the one that hold me strong, to keep me pursuing my ambitions.

Yes, that was where the tears started running down, brought me to the far-est thing in my life, THE PAST. That was where I didnt feel lonely, there always support for me to do whatever I feel right and there were also those who didnt judge me but learn to get to know me without any hesitation and prejudice. I just love them all. They made me to be part of their family, as their brother and as someone that they didnt have to feel unsecure for sharing just everything about their life. I am missing those sweet moments.

I know that I am not a very good friend. I know that. However, just put it in your mind, once I have called you as my friend, it means to be forever. I'll never talk bad about my friends. I'll never backstab anyone of you. And I'll never ever and ever forgetting every single moments we shared together. Eventhough it is hard for me to keep in touch, that doesnt mean you guys not in my heart.


Monday, October 5, 2009


"ignorance is bliss"

owh tidak

buddha cakap

"in order to continue the process of individuality and reversing the process of suffering, a person needs to get away from being 'ignorance'"

dah korang pikir lah sendiri
aku tak bole pkir kalau tgh berkecamuk


too many secrets make you silly!

jangan jadik begini


korang pernah rasa happy tak?
rasa happy sgt2?
sure pernah kan?
tp, ke-happy-an korang tuh sure tak pernah unik
happy2 biasa2 je kan?
normal2 je? kan kan kan?

nih aku nk citer
ke-happy-an yg kuar biasa
pernah tak korang tgk baju korang,
pastuh korang happy?
pelik kan?
bukan baju cntik2
nih baju yg biasa2 korang pakai
alaa.. baju 'basan' mak aku cakap
*tatau tatabahasa tuh btol ke tak*

so pernah tak?
tak pernah?
aku pon tak pernah
tp hari nih
aku pernah
suke sgt2 tgk kt baju2 aku tuh
aku gembira
bukan sehelai, tp berhelai2!
banyak sgt!
beribu-ribu lemonnnnnn *wahh!*

korang tanak tau ke knape?
*nakkkkkkkkkkk! - jeritan kuat kedengaran*
bagus la korang nih
tak sia2 aku tulis post nih..

act, dah 4 hari aku sedih je tgk baju2 tuh
pelik kan?
perasaan mase tuh ala2 mcm org hilang anak
*matila over terlampau!*
tp harinih
baju2 tuh menyebabkan kau happy
senyum smpai nmpk semua gigi
senyum sampai ke pipi
senyum lagi dan lagi dan lagi dan lagiiiiiiii *echo*

ok la
aku pon dh malas nk taip
sbbnye, baju2 basan aku tuh dah kering!
sydney hujan seminggu ok!
naseb baek pagi tadi aku challenge diri aku untuk sidai kt luar
walaupun weather forcast cakap hujan berserta ribut taufan dan juga angin puting beliung!
*wahhhhhhh! mintak2 dijauhkan :p*

so skarang aku dh happy
happy happy joy joy
happy happy joy!
*terus menyanyi*

p/s: 2nd entry mengarut aku. Aku rase nk mengarut je lah pasnih! NO?

Saturday, October 3, 2009


aku rase
hidup seorang paling terbaik
semua sendiri
memang senang hati
hilang gusar
pergi lara
tiada kecewa

eh tapi
mana gembira?
mana lumrahnya?
mana indahnya?

oh mungkin aku yg patut berubah
buat ke sekian kali

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Pusat Pusingan?

Dapat info nih from Terbeliak jugak aaa bijik mata nih. Cube korang bace btol2. Owh btw, 2 artistes fav aku ade kt dlm list nih! Nmpk sgt lah mmg 'high taste' kan? :P

Dato’ Siti Nurhaliza
* RM45,000 for a 30-minute show
* RM70,000 for a one-hour show

Dato’ Sheila Majid
* RM35,000 for a 30-minute show
* RM55,000 for a one-hour show

Anuar Zain
* RM25,000 for a 30-minute show
* RM55,000 for a one-hour show

* RM18,000 for a 30-minute show
* RM30,000 for a one-hour show

Eh kejap. Nak buat comparison ye.

Katakan lah gaji korang RM5000 sebulan. Kalau setahun? Baru RM60000 kan?

WAHHHHH! Mak iti aku cume ~lalalalalalalala~ seJAM je dh bole cover duit gaji korang setahun! No wonder lah Dato' K takut nk tinggalkan die. *yaampunn*

So mcm mana? Terus aku rasa nak tukar course. Orang kata, aku nih berbakat. Pandai berlakon, sedap menyanyi. Imej mmg clean.Gaya mmg tak dpt dinafikan lah! Rupa *ehem ehem*

Balik nih AF lah! Nyanyi nasyid mase audition dgn 1st concert. Cakap saya tak nak bergambar dgn wanita. Haaaaa, CALON ISTERI WAJIB PAKAI TUDUNG! *hiks* Confirm BINTANG PALING POPULAR BERITA HARIAN kan? *matilaa*

p/s: sori termeroyan kejap lepas sakit kepala nk design 'mix retail and resdential apartment kat BONDI BEACH'. Tp bile bace2 balik, aku yakin semua mengangguk kepala mase baca kan? hehehe

Tuesday, September 29, 2009


Dari mata jatuh ke hati

In order to love something, you need to know it first

No pain, no gain!

My passion towards architecture is starting to build up. No more the 'architorture' but 'love architecture'. Alhamdulillah. Yup, past experience had taught me a lot! I'm still on my way of learning it. Far far far away from the finishing line. But the spirit is there. That is what I want it to be.

Thanks to my parents esp my mak, for non-stop comforting advice. She knows how to keep me cool all the time. It is weird, you dont have to tell her for her to know. Eventhough you are miles away, she still knows what lies behind your relief looks. She knows there is something wrong from the trace of your voice. Eventhough you are basically living together for only 12 years. Amazing!

and a special message for someone, thanks for believing in me. And for keeping the words safely. I'll do the same too ;)

p/s: can someone pls tell me the overall story of the Big Bang? Or maybe the overall idea, compact enough to make me understand how does the process works. Thanks ;)

Sunday, September 27, 2009

The Origin of Life

I'm now working on an essay on this topic. Frankly speaking, I've lost my magic touch on writing an essay. Back in SPM era, a 4 pages essay can be done just 2 hours before the submission but now, it is already 2 days!

Any progress? ilek!

It is kinda hard to put everything in words. And that is why I'm here.

Owh anyway, I went to Bondi this morning for my site visit. Need to revisit the place to do some research on the language of the facades of that place. And then, trying to get back into my pervious obsession - photography. Here are some shots that I like! yeah :)

Saturday, September 26, 2009

A new intro

It is not too late for me to wish Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri to all my readers (haha I'm sure by this time around, the number has been decreased drastically due to the laziness of me updating this blog). I am so sorry for that.

Anyway, so what is new with me? I've moved into a new house and I am loving it. I've more freedom for myself. Nothing to border me from something that I dont like.

Talking about this blog, I dont think that I am going be very efficient as before in updating it. I have decided that this is not something compulsory for me but it is more like a place for me to express my feeling and share my thoughts.

So, since this is can be considered as a new beginning, let me start with the introduction about me, in detail and how I see things. I believe this is very important we need to know then understand.

My name is Hanafi. I like people to call me Hanafi. Same goes to Napi, Nafi and Muhamad. And I hate to be called fifi. hate with the caps lock. *full stop* hope that explains why those who called me by that name are always being ignored by me. I'm just not in the mood.

I prefer to keep things rather than burst it out. I know that not everyone is able to understand that, but I am believing more in the ability of being considerate with everyone around you. You need others with you and at the same time, they need you to perfect their circle. So, why should us taking advantage on others? Try to imagine you in their shoes, then decide whether you like it or not.

I dont do violence. In fact, I hate it to the extreme how I treat the 'oppurtunist'.

I treasure all my friends very much.

I love all my close/ best friends. In fact, I am willing to do anything for them. They are my oxygen. And i promise that they will always in my heart. They understand me well. They are not judgemental. They can take my joke. They come to me for my advice. They respect me. They make me feel that I am not doing things alone. They give me supports. They always look high on me. They know I can go beyond my limit. They dont take anvantage on me. They give me the meaning of happiness in life. They put colors on my memory lane. They are dearly missed!

Once I have bad impression on someone, it remains forever. I give second chance only if there is the possibility of changes in that person. If not, that might be the last time I am smiling at you. I do talk but with a straight face. The faster the better.

Please respect me just like how I give my respect.

I dont talk bad about people and pls do the same to me. Once I know, you are out of the list. Sayonara.

Dont take silent as a yes. You should think beyond that.

I am an hygienic person. I am very particular about how do you look and most importantly, how do you smell.

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Selamat Berpuasa

Maaf Zahir & Batin ;)

Friday, August 14, 2009


Ok now it is convincing enough that I really need to so something on this issue. Owh should activate my fasting mode!

Thursday, August 13, 2009


Hey people,

I'm sure you guys love the smell of Cappuccino, the taste of Mocha or the darkness of Long Black. Espresso coffee, part of the culture of being an Australian.

Everywhere you go, you'll definitely found people selling the coffee especially in the cafe. Coffee is like our 'teh tarik', but has variety of types to suit the needs of different person. Latte, Flat White and Short Black, are those familiar names for the cafe barista.

What makes those coffee different from each other? Well, based on what I had learned, the main factor of different taste and color is due to the amount of milk you put into the coffee. Apart from that, additional ingredient such as chocolate powder and type of milk are also contributing to the changes in coffee.

Anyway, how does the story of coffee is related to me?

Yesterday, it was my first time making coffee for my customers. Before this, I always passed that important job to a friend of mine who is already expert in it. However, she was on leave due to personal reason, left me to handle it alone.

" 3 Cappuccino please"

" What size do u want mdm? Any sugar?"

" Do you put 2-shots for the large right?"


" Just get me three large Cappuccino then. No Sugar"

"Ok sure :)"

There went my first conversation with a customer regarding the espresso coffee. I behaved like normal, looking just right an expert in making coffee. I blended the coffee and put it in the machine. The skim milk was frothed.

Three large take away cups were taken and there went my first three Cappucinnos.

"Thank you so much"

"Have a good day"

But then,

I started worrying about what was happened. A small voice told me that there were something wrong with the coffee. Yup, I was pretty sure about it!

"Auntie (my boss), do we have to change the coffee in the coffee machine everytime we make a new cup of coffee?"

"Absolutely! If not, you would spoiled the taste."

Oh no. That was my huge mistake! Bad starting for a beginner. I am sorry Mdm. Really sorry. Didn't mean to spoil your mood. There wentmy first lesson about the coffee making precess.

Frankly speaking, it started to pity the Australian woman. My mistake. I am apologies with what I did. And now, I am hoping that she would get something else in return. Something good for her. Aku bermohon padamu Ya Allah...

Saturday, August 8, 2009


Everything happens for a reason. We know about it but we prefer not to explore. Let it be. Just go with the flow.

But wait, if that is what were you thinking, you are nearly the same like me. Not exactly!

A talk by Prof. Sidek Baba at Malaysia Hall Sydney last night has helped to broaden up my view. Seeing new things from the real angle. Seeing it straight right in front of your face. We might say, that is not 'thinking outside of the box', but how sure are we that 'outside of the box' is not 'inside of the box?' Confuse? Be my guest.

Why am I here? I know my target but I am not sure how to finish it. I am confuse, with conflicts in between make it harder for me to decide. I have then became a man of nothing. Start to do anything but not the thing that I have chosen at the beginning. I dont wanna finish what I have started. I want to create new things and leave it whenever I like. No finishing with lots of beginning.

I blamed my first choice on what had happened to me. No more patience. No more hardwork. No more always on the top. It left with a person with no soul, doing something which needs soul to live on. Contra. It is hard to explain but it is clear to the eyes.

Being a student who studies overseas is always my dream but it is not an easy dream to achieve, only those lucky one might be chosen. I am not a genius neither a talented person. I am just another ordinary kampung boy who always lucky in what I am doing. "Just my luck", may be the best movie to describe my whole story.

I dream to be an architect mainly because of the high salaries. I dont care about what people say. I know what I want, eventhough I know nothing about it. The only think that defines architect to me is just the words 'high salaries', full stop. Owh forgot to include, I have drawn a beautiful Minagkabau House when I was 10. Very beautiful drawing and that was the only one that I have.

I got it! Architect. Overseas. Australia. A friend of mine told me that my flow in life is wonderful. It flows smoothly, no obstacle in between.

But then, it is not easy to get easy. The last stage always the toughest. As we grow older, hoping to get wiser; those challenges that we have gone through help us in finding the real reason why we are the one chosen to get involve in that circumstances. There's always a reason.

One point that has became another source of lights for me to get to the real reason,

" Bila kamu belajar di sana, ceduklah sedalam2 mana termampu ilmu dan taburlah semula di negara kamu sendiri. Olah dan sesuaikan dengan keadaan semasa, berlandaskan hukum Allah, buat semua yg dahagakan ilmu di sana. Kamu insan terpilih dan setiap pilihan itu pastinya terkandung sebab2 tertentu."

Hope it shines forever so I can see through my eyes, through my heart and through my mind.

Yes, this post is very confusing, just like my mind at the moment. The end is still blur but the path to get there is started to get clear. Finger cross, hoping for the better.

Saturday, August 1, 2009

Helpless mind

I am now at the stage of not knowing what should I choose between two things. Both of them are those that I want to have at the moment. Let's have a look.

1. The Squash Racquet

Dunlop Hotmelt Pro Squash Racquet. The one I always checked at the shop whenever I go shopping. Its weight is 135g which is so light as compared to my previous one.

So why do I need a new racquet? It is simple. I play squash frequently, about 3-4 times a week. I am in the uni team and joining the competition. It is not something that I want but I guess it is more towards something that I need. Furthermore, my old racquet is already being used since I was in 1st year which means it is already 2 yrs old.

I still love my old racquet but I am thinking of having a new one which is less heavy than before. My old racquet is about 150g, (I guess) which kinda hard for me to swing whenever in the game. I have to use expensive string which is not durable enough for someone who play squash regularly, like me. I had it once and to tell the truth, I was impressed with its performance. It increased the force you put on the ball whenever the ball is being hit.

However, it did not last long. 3 months after that, the string broke, and I had to change a new one. Then it made me realized that I am not going to pay another AUD45 for the string. Yes I like the performance very much but being a student, it is a lot to pay such amount of money, FREQUENTLY! huhu. Then I just changed the string with the normal one, the one I had been using before. And since I was used to the performance of my previous string, I do not really favour with the latest performance of my racquet.

Therefore, if let say I am buying this racquet, I am thinking that I can play squash with the performance of my old racquet using that expensive string. Why? Since the racquet is much lighter, it is kinda easy for me to swing the racquet, resulting more force can be exerted onto the ball (wah Physics! haha). Thus, I am assuming that extra force from that expensive string is then being subtitute by the force resulting from the extra swing I can do whenever I am using this racquet. The best part is, I can just use the normal string but having the performance which is the same like when I use my old racquet with that expensive string.

And now it makes me think, how good the performance gonna be when that expensve string string is being put on this racquet? Must be really great!

The price? It cost only AUD149 with AUD10 for the delivery charge. I saw it at the racquet shop and the price is AUD300++. Good deal rite?

2. Clarinet (for those who is not familiar, it is the one in black)

At first, I was thinking of getting a guitar since my roomate just got his from ebay. Maybe if I got mine too, then it would be easier for me to learn how to play a guitar since my roomate is willing to teach. But I changed my mind when I saw an AUD2.95 clarinet book. I bought it, then after going through the book,it reminiscence my good old time during I was in my school's orchestra. I love music. And I love the feeling of being a musician. I am a person who appreciate music not because how it looks, but how it is being composed.

And it was last morning, I searched about the clarinet at ebay and to my surprised, it cost less than AUD200. That was awesome. If I am not mistaken, when I was in the orchestra, I asked my music teacher about the cost of a clarinet and she said it was about RM3000++. I was surprised since I thought it was only costing for about a few hundred riggit.

Therefore, considering both of the coincidence that happened to me; the clarinet note book and the price of the clarinet, should I get it or not?

p/s: OPS! by the time I end this post, my new racquet is on the way to my house. AUD159 gone. huhu. So, should I get the clarinet? hehe

Thursday, July 30, 2009


Iqra! Iqra! Iqra!

I guess the main problem with we Malays is we do not like to read. Unlike Caucasian, everywhere they go, there is always book on their hand. In the bus, during lunch or while waiting for someone, they will take out the book and read. It is already becoming their culture, hunger for knowledge, wherever they go.

Different case for us Malays. We do read, but only for light reading material. Comics, entertainment magazine and newspaper - sports and entertainment, again! We prefer something that do not need us to think or to relate it with our life but not about others' life. 'Jaga tepi kain org', the correct phrase for this case.

Anyway, I am writing this because this is actually the things keep haunting me since I was in my high school. I only read to pass my exam. That's it. Nothing else would get my attention with exceptional for sports and entertainment. It is then makes me to become an ignorant person with high level of ego as the filling. I told the world that I know everything and act as if I'm the walking dictionary.

However, the truth is always bitter. I know nothing. NO-THING! It is just that my skill of manipulating people's words make me still at the top, look high by the rest of the people. I realized about that long time ago but since I still managed to survive mainly due to that advantage, my ignorance level keeps increasing as the time flies. But today, is another different story. I guess it is the time for me to change.

"IQRA!" The word that changes Muhammad SAW life. The word that changes the Mecca people perception. The word that finally changes the flow of the whole world. And now, I am another small creature to get the light shine from it. Hopefully it is forever.

"I want my brain to be sold cheap when my head is being cut"

Wednesday, July 29, 2009


This is totally a new experience, knowledge and field to me. Textiles in interior architecture, my elective for this sem.

The moment I entered the class, there were only two guys with more than 10 girls (not sure the actual figure) sitting down on the chair while waiting for the lecturer. I was a lil bit shocked but who cares, that's the only subject that suits my timetable at the moment.

I was expecting to learn something about fashion designing when I enrolled into this subject. haha. How silly I am. The word 'textiles' to me is just for the fashion. That's all I know. But when the explanation given by the lecturer, then I started to realized that there are a lot more other stuffs can be explored just by the word 'textiles'. Textiles in Interior Architecture, the subject which gonna give me an intro about how we can use textiles with the interior part of our house. Furniture, bed, wall paper? That are some of other usage of textiles besides fashion.

linen- one of the fabric shown during the class and I really think that this fabric is awesome. I like it the best among all. Simple, classic and not formal. Quoting from my lecturer, 'linen is the most durable fabric of all". Then it suddenly came into my mind, 'buat baju kawen pon smart jugak!' *lariiiiiii

haha. ok people. need to do more research about this subject since everything here is new to me. warp? weft? woven? knitted? arghhhhhh.

Sunday, July 26, 2009

Sweat all over!

As for the start, since I still need to warm up in order to get my magic touch, before I can come up with a very beautifully-composed post, which could trigger your mind and make U guys think, let me begin with a not so unique post about my experience of having a week full of movies - yes, i called it my extraordinary movie triathlon!

I'm not a movie-goer. I prefer to watch movie on the TV or by just downloading it and using my lappy as the main source of entertainment. I dont like to go out especially when it's involving the public. BUT, it was a different story for my previous week, the final week before I start to get back my architorture.

Anyway, my 1st on the list:

"Harry Porter and The Half Blood Prince"
21 July 2009

Most of my friends said that the movie is plain, normal, just like any other movies and not showing the true identity of Harry Porter which is usually packed with magic spells and actions of the young wizards and witches in the making. However, their high expectation demolished by the Harry's being a normal teenager, trying so hard to control his emotion before getting involve in the love-hate relationship. It is not only him, the characters of Hermione and Ron are also being potrayed the same as Harry which makes this latest Harry Porter's movie is more about their love's life.

Being a person who do not read J.K. Rowling's book, it left me with no expectation while entering the cinema. I know Harry Porter through the movies. So, my intention while walking into the cinema was just wanna have something which is more interesting than the previous movie, something which could make me feel it is worth to pay an AUD8, and most importantly, it is worth to go beyond my regularity.

And yes, I love this movie. I like it very much. Although at the beginning of the movie it is kinda weird since I need to adjust my brain with the British accent, but after a while, it went well. The effect used, the setting in the movie ( or should I say the cinematography ) and the story line were awesome, very impressive and sunccessfully engaging me with the characters in the movie.

Owh, I hate the ending! 3.5/5 stars from me.

My 2nd on the list:

22 July 2009

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Dont go if U dont wanna waste your AUD10 for something nonsense, less enjoyable and full of rubbish. Thank you

0.5/5 stars.

3rd on the list:

" Drag Me To Hell "
23 July 2009

I was a bit hesitated when my friends suggested us to watch this movie. Based on the internal sources from London, they said it is not worth to watch at the cinema. It straight away killed my interest to watch this movie.

But that was the story of a month ago. I gave the money and my student card to my friend and leave it to them whether to watch it or not. An AUD14 gone! phewwwww... Hoping that it is not another Bruno's show.

It turned out that this movie was awesome! I love every single scene of the movie. The storyline is easy to understand with variety toppings of excitements. I laughed through out the movies. The effects used goes very well with the acting. Disgusting? What do you expect for a so called scary movie? That is part of it. BUT, congratulation to the director for successfully making that disgusting scenes to be part of the movie. The coherency is there. It flows proportionally with the mood of the audiences. It made us to be part of the movie. In fact, we felt like we were actually one of the casts in the movie.

One thing which I could not found from any other movie was the cleverness of the director in making every scene to be realistic, seriously done, scary and at the same time, there were humours to entertain us and making the audiences to feel happy while watching a scary movie. Nicely done!

4.5/5 stars.

And last on the list:

"Ice Age Dawn of the Dinosours 3D"
25 July 2009

My first time watching a 3D movie. I was stunned with the graphic shown. The storyline is simple but I still say that "Upin & Ipin - GANG" has more interesting story to share with the audiences. Overall, it is OK to watch but an AUD20 for this movie was still expensive. And that's why I dont recycle the 3D spects given at the counter after finish watching the movie ;P

3/5 stars. Not bad huh?

Friday, July 24, 2009


Mmg dah bersawang dah blog nih. Takpe takpe.
Pasnih, akan ku aktif kembali.
Ye la, skolah cuti, blog nih pon cuti ye dak? :P
Jumpa kalian semua nanti yer?

Friday, June 19, 2009

i need a break

this is me after 12 weeks of architorture!
one more assgmnt n i'm free!
owh no.
result is freaking me out!
hopefully everything is gonna be good
especially design
tut tut tut tut

Sunday, June 7, 2009

Prisma Kaca

Bicara seorang teman

Membuka mata

Menyingkap rahsia

Merungkai noktah

Melebarkan jalanan rahsia

Sekadar hanya menyatakan

Tidak sekali mengaibkan

Bukan sama membenci


Melepaskan perasaan terperangkap di lubuk hati

Mungkin itu jahil

Mungkin itu bakhil

Mungkin itu tidak adil

Tidak lagi mampu untuk dicurahkan

Segalanya musnah

Hancur berderai

Impak mendalam

Kesan tertikam

Parut kekal selamanya

Semoga bahagia yang dicari

Bahagia juga yang ditemui

Bukan hanya duniawi

Bahkan untuk ukhrawi

Monday, June 1, 2009

u can do it!

go go go
u'll be free in less than a week!
free from all the tortured
sleepy head
panda eyes!

u absolutely can do it!

n u too!
yes, i mean U

Sunday, May 31, 2009

Wednesday, May 27, 2009


i'm full
full of workloads!
extremely FULL

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Saturday, May 9, 2009


this is superb!
n pls pls pls
'dont judge the book by its cover'
only me can do that!

(embedding disabled by request. sigh~)

Wednesday, May 6, 2009


It is not planned.
Simply take - try - and deal!
That's it!
Could I say I'm an 'adventitious-person'?
starting to be,

Tuesday, May 5, 2009


This is what happen when I choose to have a break from socializing at Facebook;

a conversation of Cik Tom and Cik Yam...

*before proceed, Cik Tom and Cik Yam are not the actual names. It is just their gossip's names! OPS*

Cik Tom at 12:02pm May 5

jom la layan kuiz...jgn bosan Yam...hikhik

Cik Tom at 12:03pm May 5

Yam, apsal diorg panggil ko Yam jurai?? ko nangis berjurai air mata ke

Cik Tom at 12:03pm May 5

smlm aku g beli sweet potato, wat kueh keria, ptg ni nk g bli lg ..nk buat karipap plak..hihi.. keje aku buat kueh je..

Cik Yam at 12:06pm May 5

ekekke..bkn sbb aku nangess berjurai air mata...sbbnyer..most of my accessories semuanya berjurai2..tu yg dpt nama tu tuh...

Cik Yam at 12:06pm May 5

wah2...suka hang wat kuih ek...kalo laa aku dok ngan ko...sah2 aku gemuk..sbb asik mkn sedap jerr..huhu

Cik Tom at 12:30pm May 5

hahaha.. tula psal.. aku ni ntah la.. gatal j emulut nk mkn itu ini.. cam org ngidam plak...ahaks

Cik Tom at 12:34pm May 5

oo yer ker.. hahaha.. tapi kan Yam sesuaila Yam jurai tu.. tagline la Yam ape lagik! si thepretender ni senyap palk dia arini.. kalau x bising je mamat tuh..

Cik Tom at 12:36pm May 5

smlm aku br lepas tgk oiam kat 8tv website.. ko tgk x?
baguskan tomok menang.. aku xla minta dia.. tp aku rasa he deserves to win. byk improvement la..esther tu sore mmg bgus tp susah nk market.. nnt jadi cam suki..hikhik.. jue nnt oiam season4 kita g audition jom.. hahaha..

Cik Tom at 12:37pm May 5

minat* correction

Cik Yam at 1:12pm May 5

ekekkee..haaa...aku tgk gak tapi yg final concert jer laaa...for me..oklaaa...he deserve that...esther tu dia cm tak berapa nilai commercialnyer....yelaa xsemestinya cantik jer..kalo tak berapa cantik tapi diri tu ada nilai commercial...sure leh jln pnyer...huhuh
pndai jer aku ngomen kan..

Cik Yam at 1:12pm May 5

huhuh...jom kita meruntuhkan pentas oiam 4..wakakaka...

Cik Tom at 2:01pm May 5

btul Yam... kita dua mmg ade nilai komersial.. hahaha.. ni kalau thepretender dgr mesti berasap.. dia mesti nk join la tu... pastu berangan nk jadi juara...

Cik Yam at 2:02pm May 5

wakakakka..btol2..tapi dia kan dh janji tamau active kt fb wat masa nehh..tu yg dia senyap jer lately nihh

Cik Tom at 2:07pm May 5

tula pasal.. smlm dia cal aku.. bz la katanya.. bz la sgt..
hahaha... xpe jue.. sementara si thepretender ber'cuti' dr fb mari kita yg havockan fb ni

Cik Yam at 2:10pm May 5

yeah!!! mari2..menhavoc kan sambil mengutuk thepretender...opss

Cik Tom at 2:16pm May 5

hahahah.. ni kalau thepretender tau ni .. kalau dh mati pun leh bangkit dr kubur... hahaha... amboi sorry laser plak..
p/s sory thepretender, aku x berniat nk mengambil takhta mulut laser berapi lagi berdarah ko

Cik Yam at 3:02pm May 5

berapi lagi berdarah ek..very2 true

After reading the whole conversation, I could say that, when I choose to not active in Facebook;

1. People tend to get bored since I'm their source of entertainment. OPS

2. They have no idea to talk about and that's why the topic chosen by them were so boring. OPS

3. They would feel that Facebook is suddenly changed its role from something lively to a place for unattractive people. OPS

4. Facebook is not FUN anymore. OPS

Damn, this OPS thingy is very annoying! Let me stop now so there would be no more OPS after this. OK? Chiow! OPS