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This winter break is the best (?) I would say. Probably because this is the time where I could feel myself as an adult.

Why?

I'm very ignorant. So, eventhough I was having much fun time during the previous winter break, but I was not the one organiing it. In a way, it is a very clever act. You just have to pay for the fun! And the best part, it is very CHEAP!

Anyway, while enjoying myself during this year winter break, I had came across many things.
1. The future
2. The faith
3. The love
4. The choice
5. Science & Religion

To summrize into four categories, all of them were gathered through the events that happened to me which made me thinking and thinking only that I realized that I still couldnt find the solution.

1. The future
What is my future gonna be about?
InsyaAllah, I still have two more semesters before I am graduating with my Masters of Architecture. I am sure, many people will be impressived with it but for me, after nearly 5 years of studying architecture here in UNSW, I found that this is a one hell tough course! For those who managed to grad with great result especially in 'Design' subject, standing ovation from me.

When I was in my 2nd year, many of my friends dropped the course. At that time, I didnt understand why do they ended up changing their course doing something else. Most of them choose Business, accounting, management, etc. To me, architecture was not that hard. You just need some talent and much confident to excel in your presentation. I did great at that time.

However, things changed in my 3rd year. Design was no more my 'breakfast'. I did not know why. It seemed like I lost my touch and started to be afraid to let go all my ideas. The sad part is, it continue until now. I am still searching for the 'spark' so that I could be confident seeing myself as an architect after graduation.

At the moment, when people asking me to design for them a house, my reply gonna be;

" Sorry, I am gonna work with TV3. Earn lot of money and popularity, then I'm gonna open up a restaurant. Then I would have all the branches all around Malaysia, before going overseas. "

2. The faith
Alhamdulillah, I feel closer to Allah. Maybe the past had taught me a lot about life. Every lesson I gathered really had shaped me into a better human being. Alhamdulillah. I pray everyday for the continous love, imaan, hidayah and taufik so that I could go through everything with an open heart.

3. The love
Many loves. Much loves.

I have witnessed of what a mother is willing to do in saving her son's life. She would fly all the way to Sydney just to get to know about what is happening to the son. Many things that I have learnt from her:

1. Uni life and work life is very different. Eventhough you are the top scorer at uni, that does not mean you are going to excel in your career. If you are a nerd, staying in room not socializing with people, dont know how to communicate with others and always complaining, that is worst. You might ended up as a sad old man if you do not change that. Work life demands you to be flexible, smart and confident in every decision that you are doing.
2. Whatever that you do, Allah comes first. Make Islam as your way of life.
3. A mother would never say BAD THINGS about her child. Eventhough she knows about it, she would try to divert it into a poitive thinking. At first I thought that this is only happening in Malay Drama but I'm wrong. A mother will always see her child from their good deeds. There is no such thing as her child is bad. How lovely Allah has created a mother to be liked. The love shared is priceless!


4. The choice
Whatever we plan, whatever people tell us, the choice is always ours! We decide on everything that is involving our life. Whether it is good or bad, we have the final authority to decide. So, think wise. Please consider every single opinions by others as well as the condition that is going to be faced after each decision.

The rules here are:
1. Dont be selfish
2. How does the decision is affecting our life
3. Prepare with at least three back up plans

Lastly, tawaqal. Leave everything to Allah and keep praying for the best!


5. Science & Religion
I joined the research at uni on the TMS brain stimulation. I had to attend for 10 cosecutives weekdays to induce a small amount of current into my brain. The idea here is to enhance my brain performance. On the first day of the research, I had to asnwer few set of questionnairs and computer simulation to measure about my existence brain performance. The same set of questionnaires gonna be repeated on the final day of research.

As my personal experience, I found that after the final day of the research, it was indeed a positive result. I did very well in the computer simulation and the questionnaires. It felt like that it is easy to stimulate my brain whenever I am working on something. My brain felt very 'light', which helps me in developing many thoughts at the same period as before inducing the current to my brain.

It is adjusting my biological clock back to normal and allowing me to have a deep sleep every night. I felt more energetic during the day and my alertness and focusing level is enhanced.

However, I am not sure whether it is the side effect due to the experiment; I found it was sometimes very hard for myself to dig some of the old information from my brain. I came out with a theory (this is not provenly correct) that during the inducement of the current into my brain, it accidently had moved some of the stored memories into a new part of my brain which demands the me to force my thinking skills into a higher level in order to access it. Besides, there is also possibility that they are being eliminated while the process had taken. But one thing that I am sure, it was just a very tiny amount of them.


I had been doing lots of analyses during this break. And love them.