Baby

After 2 weeks, this is what I could come out for my design tomorrow.

I still need to finish my shematic model in 24hrs! Good nite. I need rest too.

Kisah Si Minti

Di kaunter:

Minti: Kau nampak tak 'isolatif'?

sambil berdiri dan mencangkung mencari2 di pigeon hole

Aku: Apa?

dan terus membasuh cawan2 di sinki

Minti: isolatif isolatif!

Aku: (sambil tersenyum) cuba carik kat dapur, kan ko je yg guna.

Di dapur:

Minti terus ke dapur dan mencari2.

Minti: Nampak isolatif tak?

Auntie: Huh? Apa?

Minti: Isolatif isolatif! Isolatif!

Auntie: Apa? (muka semakin blur)

Aku dah tersenyum sorang2 kat depan.

Aku: SELOTAPE! SELOTAPE!

Auntie: HA HA HA HA HA HA! Aku ingat ko cakap " SI YUSOF SI LATIP"

Aku, Auntie, Jufri, Minti: HA HA HA HA HA HA

Crave

I am officially a fan of continental cake! Whenever I feel like eating something sweet, I'll just go to any cake shop and choose any cake that is appealing to me.

And thank God that Gloria Jeans is just 5mins from my hse!

Tasteless

I look at my posts and realized that all of them were composed in the 'serious' mode. I wonder, why is that happened?

And today, after beeing so lazy updating my blog for the past few days, I am thinking to put another 'serious-tone-post' for all of us to ponder.... 'TAWAR HATI'!

So what can we say about that term?
NOT:
1. your heart is tasteless
2. It is not physically affected
3. Not for the animals

YES:
1. you started to feel annoyed with something
2. Emotinally affected which has the tendency to kill all the love that you have
3. From a human to another human. There is also in certain event like occupation, work-related but all of them are mainly due to the human behaviours

Why suddenly that is topic is being chosen?
I have to the stage to where I started to analyze on how does the behaviour of human beings started to change. So, I came out with a solution that it is all depending on the emotion level.

So basically, in order to tackle someone, you should know on how to conquer their emotion. You need to be tolerable and at the same time, firm with whatever your decision is. However, when things started to go not according to your way, and at the same time, whenever you feel that you are being used by others, a prevention action should be taken.

'TAWAR HATI'

That is one of the way to save your life.


It is about how you carry your emotion level to a certain level that you would not feel anything towards something/ someone. The love - which was originally the main element that you grow inside, had lost it touch. It has no direction to go, yet being kept at the corner where you yourself dont even know where to get back. It is missing in action, with no trace.

It is really hard to cure.

' for every sickness, there is always way to cure it '

If it happens to be that you are the one being ignored, and you realized about the mistake, look for the cure.

The trick here is,
' try to bring back those good memories '

Why?
Everyone loves good memories. It is the cure for everyone. It is like the key to the happy ending.


BUT,


dont simply take it and straight away show it. That is effortless. Everyone can do that.

' BE SMART '

Think of something 'usual but unusually done' to be incorporeted with the strategy. Plan it properly. Polish it as 'shiny' as possible and...
IT'S SHOWTIME!!

With bismillah and all the best!

Upgrade

This winter break is the best (?) I would say. Probably because this is the time where I could feel myself as an adult.

Why?

I'm very ignorant. So, eventhough I was having much fun time during the previous winter break, but I was not the one organiing it. In a way, it is a very clever act. You just have to pay for the fun! And the best part, it is very CHEAP!

Anyway, while enjoying myself during this year winter break, I had came across many things.
1. The future
2. The faith
3. The love
4. The choice
5. Science & Religion

To summrize into four categories, all of them were gathered through the events that happened to me which made me thinking and thinking only that I realized that I still couldnt find the solution.

1. The future
What is my future gonna be about?
InsyaAllah, I still have two more semesters before I am graduating with my Masters of Architecture. I am sure, many people will be impressived with it but for me, after nearly 5 years of studying architecture here in UNSW, I found that this is a one hell tough course! For those who managed to grad with great result especially in 'Design' subject, standing ovation from me.

When I was in my 2nd year, many of my friends dropped the course. At that time, I didnt understand why do they ended up changing their course doing something else. Most of them choose Business, accounting, management, etc. To me, architecture was not that hard. You just need some talent and much confident to excel in your presentation. I did great at that time.

However, things changed in my 3rd year. Design was no more my 'breakfast'. I did not know why. It seemed like I lost my touch and started to be afraid to let go all my ideas. The sad part is, it continue until now. I am still searching for the 'spark' so that I could be confident seeing myself as an architect after graduation.

At the moment, when people asking me to design for them a house, my reply gonna be;

" Sorry, I am gonna work with TV3. Earn lot of money and popularity, then I'm gonna open up a restaurant. Then I would have all the branches all around Malaysia, before going overseas. "

2. The faith
Alhamdulillah, I feel closer to Allah. Maybe the past had taught me a lot about life. Every lesson I gathered really had shaped me into a better human being. Alhamdulillah. I pray everyday for the continous love, imaan, hidayah and taufik so that I could go through everything with an open heart.

3. The love
Many loves. Much loves.

I have witnessed of what a mother is willing to do in saving her son's life. She would fly all the way to Sydney just to get to know about what is happening to the son. Many things that I have learnt from her:

1. Uni life and work life is very different. Eventhough you are the top scorer at uni, that does not mean you are going to excel in your career. If you are a nerd, staying in room not socializing with people, dont know how to communicate with others and always complaining, that is worst. You might ended up as a sad old man if you do not change that. Work life demands you to be flexible, smart and confident in every decision that you are doing.
2. Whatever that you do, Allah comes first. Make Islam as your way of life.
3. A mother would never say BAD THINGS about her child. Eventhough she knows about it, she would try to divert it into a poitive thinking. At first I thought that this is only happening in Malay Drama but I'm wrong. A mother will always see her child from their good deeds. There is no such thing as her child is bad. How lovely Allah has created a mother to be liked. The love shared is priceless!


4. The choice
Whatever we plan, whatever people tell us, the choice is always ours! We decide on everything that is involving our life. Whether it is good or bad, we have the final authority to decide. So, think wise. Please consider every single opinions by others as well as the condition that is going to be faced after each decision.

The rules here are:
1. Dont be selfish
2. How does the decision is affecting our life
3. Prepare with at least three back up plans

Lastly, tawaqal. Leave everything to Allah and keep praying for the best!


5. Science & Religion
I joined the research at uni on the TMS brain stimulation. I had to attend for 10 cosecutives weekdays to induce a small amount of current into my brain. The idea here is to enhance my brain performance. On the first day of the research, I had to asnwer few set of questionnairs and computer simulation to measure about my existence brain performance. The same set of questionnaires gonna be repeated on the final day of research.

As my personal experience, I found that after the final day of the research, it was indeed a positive result. I did very well in the computer simulation and the questionnaires. It felt like that it is easy to stimulate my brain whenever I am working on something. My brain felt very 'light', which helps me in developing many thoughts at the same period as before inducing the current to my brain.

It is adjusting my biological clock back to normal and allowing me to have a deep sleep every night. I felt more energetic during the day and my alertness and focusing level is enhanced.

However, I am not sure whether it is the side effect due to the experiment; I found it was sometimes very hard for myself to dig some of the old information from my brain. I came out with a theory (this is not provenly correct) that during the inducement of the current into my brain, it accidently had moved some of the stored memories into a new part of my brain which demands the me to force my thinking skills into a higher level in order to access it. Besides, there is also possibility that they are being eliminated while the process had taken. But one thing that I am sure, it was just a very tiny amount of them.


I had been doing lots of analyses during this break. And love them.

All works and no play...

Makes me a very slow boy!

Sometimes, it is good to go out and entertain yourself. If you keep yourself busy through the week, take yourself out maybe during the weekend to release the tension. Maybe you might say " I dont feel anything. I'm not tension or stress at all ". Yes you might be right. But, you have to remember, if you keep yourself or push yourself doing something the same, it would arouse the feeling of boring. So, you better prevent it before it is getting worst.

Go out! Do random things!

This will generates a happy hormones into yourself and things would started to flow just like normal. Happy ending?



Cliche is always the thing that people looking for.

Help!

There is a time that you are not feeling of doing anything. You wanna do something but you dont know what it is. You dont feel comfortable. You feel something is not right. There is something wrong with you but sadly, you cant figure out of what it is.


I hate it when I am in that situation. I cant proceed with what I had planned earlier. Even if I force myself to do it, by mind just cant stand it. My body really wanna do it but my soul say no.

"stop it! I cant take it!"

That is sad. You have no control of yourself anymore. You definitely in a dangerous situation. You are prone to the devilish thought. So, in this situation, you definitely need help. Or friend. Or someone that can stay with you, just so that you feel that you are not alone. Because whenever you feel lonely, you tend to do something which is beyond you normal.

We are just human. We cant live in this world by our own. We need others to help us. We definitely need them.

Chaos

It is really hard to describe about what happened today. One word - unpredictable?

1. After suboh I slept and woke up at around 9.30am. Today was my laundry day. So after taking my bath at around 10.30am, I started making my laundry. My friends whatsapp me telling that she was sick n hoping that I could replace her today. I said no since I just washed all my uniforms. She begged me, I said yes but only for the night shift. There went my resting day. My plan to finish the essay just gone
Iike that.

2. Since I need to use my uniform for the night shift, I sent my laundry to the laundry shop for dryer. I went to usual shop but it closed. That was weird since it stated there that they open everyday. Since I had no choice, I tried my luck to search for another shop. My friend once told me about there is another shop but I havent try it since I am satisfied with the service from the previous shop. Luckily, the shop opened and the price was even cheaper. I asked the laundrette, how much for dryer. He told me AUD5. I aksed him again for how long. He replied 40 mins. That was very cheap considering that the other shop charged me for AUD7.40 for the same period of time.

While waiting, after setting the timer for 40mins, I went 'sight seeing' around the area. There are many second hand shops, few 'latin shops' as well as asian shops. Nevertheless, it suddenly triggered me that the laundrette might be lieing to me. I went back to the shop after 20mins to check on my laundry. The dryer was still working. However, after 30mins, the laundrette sunddenly telling me that mine was done. Thats it, he is a total bullshit! Luckily all my clothes were already dried, if not I am gonna make a scene at his shop!

3. After zuhur, I read surah al waqiah which I usually do at night, before going to sleep. It was just that today, I wanna see the different. From what had been told by my cousin, if we keep reading the surah everyday, insyaAllah, we would be 'murah rezeki'. Back in Malaysia, she always do that after solah dhuha, with the hope that the 'rezeki' will flow smoothly through the day. As for me, I prayed for 'BIG TIPS' tonight!

4. After Asar, getting ready myself before going to work. I checked my twitter and FB, and loved reading all the status about 'BERSIH 2.0' ! Something different. Something interesting to ponder about. When I checked at the watch, it was already nearly 4.30pm. I was already late for work.

5. I walk to the bus stop. At first, I was thinking of walking but since I saw a bus just stop in front of me, I was immediately getting into the bus. The weather was very windy and cold, so it was definitely a good decision. After 'dipping' my ticket, I went for the seat near the front entrance. There was an old chinese lady in front of me, taking the seat opposite mine. But, just few seconds before the bus start moving, she suddenly stood up from her seat, and walked to the seat behind the driver.

Unfortunately, due to inertia and her condition as an 'old lady', she fall down right in front of me! I was shocked! Having no idea of what happening at that moment (I had my ipod played) I managed to catch the women before her head stomping on the floor. But not her back side. She was moaning loudly!

" arghhh arghhhh arghhhhh arghhhh arrrghhhhhh ...."

I was very panicked, having no idea of what to do. Then came an Australian, and another asian guy helping me with the lady. They were very fast actually. I was impressed. The bus driver stoped the bus, and helping to women too. The Australian was busy asking whether the unlucky old lady whether she was ok or not. While the bus driver, asking her whether she wanted him to call the ambulance. But the old lady keep saying ;

" argghhhh arghhhhh arghhhhh i dont know. Arghh arghh arghhh"

I only watched of what happening silently, thinking that I was late for work. 15 more mins before my shift starts. But then, the old lady finally agreed to call the ambulance which was then, causing us to stepped down from the bus since the driver had to call and wait for the ambulance to come. We had to wait for another bus to get to our destination. Unlucky for me, I had to run to the restaurant since there was no sign for any bus to come at the nearest time.

6. At night, the shop was out of sudden turn to be the busiest place ever! Damn. I was the only one working at the front. Taking orders, sending orders, preparing the drinks, cleaning up the tables and checking out! Wohoo! I believe I had walked for thousand miles. Jogging prolly the perfect adjective. But then, just realized that it was what I prayed for before going to work. Alhamdulillah. It works. Gonna try that tom morning before my another day at work - my whole day shift.

7. So, what I am trying to say here, you can plan but Allah will decides. But we can still pray so that everything would be easy for us. Whatever it is, just go with the flow. Sometimes, random things would make you appreciate life even more!

Dryer!

Sad sad sad.

Referees

I forgot to tell that we had lost in the Squash Semi final which consequenced us to be the ref for the final.

At first, it sounded very easy to me but when I was there, knowing that top 2 teams of the league were going to fight against each other, it has made me hesitated to be the ref. Why?

1. They definitely gonna question every decision that I make. So, I have to prepare with good and concrete argument so that the will be no further complain.
2. My partner ( as well as my captain ) had agree that we both are not a good ref. That was given slightly negative minded for us even before coming to the match.
3. The rest of the team members ( of the finalists ) gonna surrounding us while we are refreeing the game. So, it put more pressure to us! Especially for every decision made, it wont stop there, there is always someone else voice 'echoeing' of what we said.

So, throughout the final, I would say that was the longest 'nervous' period I had ever experienced. We have to ref 4 matches and eact match is having 5 sets. And there would be 2 'extremely' good players competing for each match. They were very professional - refreeing thir match just like watching Beng Hee competing against Azlan Iskandar! They know squash very well which means, they definitely know how to manipulate our decision.

Anyway, after the match, we both agreed that it was a good experiece for us. A very good exposure for us to get out from our comfort zone.

Like what Paud told me in the car,

" Hanafi, i'll defintiely remember this everytime I play in the semi final. You as well have to remind me about this. WE HAVE TO WIN IN THE SEMI SO THAT WE DONT HAVE TO REF THE FINAL! It was a long and scary night! "
We both laughed.

Paul, you definitely right! For the next comp, final is not an option!

The summary

I beleive, this is the most beneficial winter holidays of all through out my stay in Australia. I have decided not to go anywhere, staying in Sydney and work as much as I can. I have setted up the plan for me to achieve and currently, still have another 50% to go. It is possible, since I still have a week to go.

Those things that still in the progress:
1. Essay on Mahatma Gandhi - world peace you all!
2. Schematic planning on design - final year project is coming. Need to start preparing so I wont get shock when the sem starts
3. Flight ticket (return or one way) to Malaysia - cepatlah sale!

Thats is. 3 more to go. But then, what I find more valueable during this holidays:
1. Kasih ibu membawa ke syurga - based on true story but not mine. I am just a small part of it.
2. Rezeki ada di mana2. Usaha tuh penting.
3. Keep praying! Allah definitely wont let u down.

Subhanallah, Alhamdulillah, Allahuakbar.

Besides that, the lessons about life from 'Auntie' and through my observation from what I see - PRICELESS!
1. The knowledge about parenting. This is so interesting and definitely gonna make it into practice once I am a dad! Cant wait
2. Tanda2 perempuan mengandung! Lol
3. Kita plan, Allah tentukan.
4. Kalau dah takda rezeki, takkan stay lama. Anggap je sebagai kifarah dosa. InsyaAllah, jiwa tenang.
5. My new way of study, time management, manipulating the peak time for my brain performance
6. The 'right' group

The list is actually longer than this I supposed. But, to summarise all of them, 6 is enough I guess.

Last but not least, happy moments:
1. iPad2! Plan your financial, then work on it. InsyaAllah. Setakat nih, semuanya berjaya.
2. Lots of eating. Auntie masak sedap hari2. Saya gemuk! Keluar makan dgn kawan2. Saya bertambah gemuk. Tiap2 minggu makan kek sedap2. Saya bertambah gemuk!
3. Feeling good all the time :)

Looks like they are all sweet time for me. Well, one thing for sure, set your mind positive, then things will turn to you positively. Unfortunate events in life are something that we cant run away from it but we have the power to turn it to be something meaningful to be included as part of our life. I choose to see it from my poisitive eyes, and left the negative parts as the learning process. There is no use to complain when things already happened.

Anyway, alhamdulillah for the good life :)

Same sex marriage?

Woohoo! A definite-hot-chilli-pepper topic!

I joined a conversation class at uni. And this was the topic for our second meeting. I found that this class is very interesting. It is not just helping me to polish up my English, but also, learn many things from my mates. Moreover, they are all from different countries, background and cultures which I found fascinating because I could learned from them, through their differences.

As for the today's meeting, there were 4 of us, including the mediator. She had done a great job! I felt like the class was more interesting as compared to the first meeting.

Anyway, my reason of sharing the story here is not to tell you guys of what is same sex marriage. I know it is a taboo to certain cultures and countries especially for the eastern countries. So, I am not gonna touch on that issue. What I am gonna write here is about the differences of thinking between the westeners and us, the easteners.

1. Religious belief
I think this issue has the largest gap among all. In my opinion, the westeners see the religion as just part of life. It is like an accessory to them. So, they have the choice whether to wear them or put them aside and try a new thing. Unlike us (in this case I am saying from my own context as Malaysian), as a Muslim, religion is our way or life. It is the most important thing - the pillar to keep us alive! So, everything that we do, are all based on it. We cannot run from it.

Whenever I brought up the issue of religion here, I see it as one important matter in deciding the end decision. Especially whenever we are saying about marriage, religion plays important role as it is involving the 'combination' of two different soul, to stay alive together and continuing the human population. So, marriage is actually as a tool of legalizing us to carry out this procedure into our life. That is why, we could see many ways of marriage could be seen and they are all based on the individuals faith and beleives.

However, as for the westerners, they see marriage as fulfilling the human needs, love as well as desires. They put the religion away as it is an optional thing in life. Their life is about the 'current life', no 'after life'. Therefore, they would go all out totally different from what we belief. Yes, I agree that we are also will go all out whenever it is involving about our own marriage but the way we carry it out, is not the same as they see it. We have cultures and religion. Everything is based on those two elements. Even while at the 'searching-stage' of our partner, we wont simply do things as accordance to what our desire tells us. We still have boundaries!

Unlike the westeners, they will do whatever their heart tell them to do. That explains why, they are more romantic than us! Especially while at the stage of 'tackling' the partner. Just take any of their romantic movies, the romantic scenes are all before they are getting married and the ending will always be whenever they are at church, walking away to the car with the sign 'just married'. Then the movie end, with the tought of it as a happy ending. Everyone will go out from the cinema with a smile in the face, telling their partner that is such a good movie.

But wait, are you sure that is a good movie? Have u ever thought why they end the movie 'only' at the church? Hmmm. Just look at any hollywood stars real life, their marriage wont last forever - most of them. Unlike those easteners ( take Malaysia for example) they will try to keep their marriage until their last breath. Ziana Zain, Amy Mastura, M. Nasir etc. they are all some of the examples. I know the trend is starting to change but that is happening due to the lots of 'assimilation' of westeners way of life into our life. We are less-proud of our own culture due to the large exposure about westeners which is the current trend at the moment. But if we stick to the traditional way, I beleive, our marriage institution will be the best in the world - considering religion as one of the main key in shaping our marriage processes.

2. Human equality
This is another issue that they keep arguing whenever this topic is arised. Well, if there is no religion in this world, I am defintiely gonna be first to support this. To me, we do have right to love whoever we want. We also have the right to marry anyone that we like. Just do whatever you wanna do, there will be no right and wrong. You have no one to judge you of what you are doing.

However, as a Muslim, a person who knows about the existence of God and believe that there is another life after we die, I am gonna say that this is not an option for us to choose. I know, this might be sounded biased, but this opinion is made of by considering religion as my main way of life. I beleive in Allah, and I have known about the past story of 'Kaum Hud'. And I took that as a reminder, something to hold on that 'this way of life' is against of what is being mentioned in the Quran.

If you say that that is inequality, and human rights should win in this case, please explain about the war in Iraq and Pakistan. They are all human decision - who always proclaim themselves to fight for the world peace, but is that how they definine the 'peace'? What I want to tell here is everything that is done, set, created by human is always 'imperfect'. Unlike the creation of God, they are all 'flawless'. So, whenever it is being said that same sex marriage is wrong, there must be something that is not right with it. But we human keep fighting for it with many 'human-excuses' which considered as 'reasons' so that it would be accepted by the world.

I know this might be hard to be accepted especially for those who are already in 'the scene'. But, just before I end this post, please bear in mind, Islam is easy, but we are always finding the excuses so that it will look complicated. The word 'easy' here will only come if we start to practise it as our way of life. Do what we are asked to do, leave those which are forbidden for us and insyaAllah, things will always by our side.

Lesson

I had a heart to heart talk with one that I consideres as my mom in Sydney. It is indeed bringing up a new different perception to me. And the best part, it is about myself.

Before this, I always questioned that why is that those people around me are not reacting the same like what I had done to them. Well, sometimes it is so depressing whenever the people that you are close to are not giving something the same in return. But then, after reading on many books about psychological differences in between human, then I realized that no one is the same from one another. Then I started to accept that everyone has their own specialty and weakness. So, it is unfair to compare since different people will have different way of thinking.

Then I also realized, how the parential guidance is important for ones behaviours. Different parents will have different way of raising their children. Some might think that by scolding the children would make them a 'human'. While some might think that by giving good advice is the best way if all. But then, in my opinion, it is actually depending on the situation. But what important here, parental guidance is one core element in developing the children's way of thinking and how they behave in the future.

Another thing that I realized about differences of human being is due to individual's past experience. Different person will definitely having different experience and they are learning from them. So, what ever they are doing are based on what they have experienced. That is why, people always say that experience is very important. Same goes to whenever we are looking for job. Experience is one important criteria for the employer in choosing their employee. So in this case, experiences will developing people's character in living their lives. So, it is unfair to judge them if we dont know about their background. There must be a reason for something to be done.

So, considering from what had been discussed, I realized that my character is very different from anyone that I know. I am in a way is very special. I can be a magnet to anyone. But then, there is still disadvantages that I have to consider. Not everyone is very genuine in frienship. They might be aftering for something. Judging from the differences of each one of us, I should be careful with who my friend is. As long as I know my limit and boundary, that should be fine. I have to be firm with my decision so that I will not easily get influence with those who is having bad intention to myself.

That is why, in every prayer, I keep praying that Allah will always help me in dealing with things in life. Alhamdulillah, as far as I am concerned, I am always being blessed. And I also pray that for the blessing to continously being given to me until the end of my life.

Therfore,

1. No more judging people without knowing their background
2. Always firm with yur decision
3. Allah is always there to help. Keep praying.

Psycho

I have been thinking something that probably my specialty. Yes, I am a mutant! No kidding!
So, what makes me a mutant is the ability for me to influence others by causing changes to their brain activities. In other words, it is like giving them some sort of psychological pressure that i going to lead to two things:

1. Becoming more positive person
2. Losing self confident and an extremely negative person

Well,well,well...

At the moment, I am focusing towards spreading the love to others by inducing the positive vibes to those nearby. Not everyone, those chosen one only. I love world peace and that is what I am going to create with the help of my specialty.

However, whenever seeing negative thoughts from a negative person on myself, I am thinking to try my second part of specialty. But then, I have to consider about that person's future before finalizing my decision. Hmmm. Well, probably those kind of person dont deserves future!

It is defitnitely not hard. All can be done by planting those negativity into the brain and keep repeating the same for a period of time. Besides negativity, it is might be leading to the psychological problem, and the person might end up at the mental hospital. Scary rigth? It is! That is why, I am still considering of doing it. I believe that I have one 'special target' in mind, but lets reserve it till it has gone beyond my limit.

Then,i'll update what happen.