passion or patient?

i thought it is easy to have a passion towards something. we just need to sit down and do the thing! but then, for someone like me, it does not work. maybe it is because i did not put much effort into it.

looking back to my type of personality, i am someone who is happy go lucky, loves talking and definitely talk a lot! owh, i am definitely could be a talking machine when mixing with the right group. i loves meeting people, talk talk and talk! thats why i dont mind being a waiter as my part time job here.

however, whenever i try i relate myself with the course i am doing at the moment, i still could not imagine myself as an architect.

"owh thats a really hard course!"

"wow, u must be really clever!"

"is it? u must be a smart boy!"

those were the responds i got whenever my customers were asking about what course i do at uni. i am obviously gonna be very very proud and happy when getting such praises but, it wont last long. i just feel that it ended there because, i still could not see myself with the title AR in front of my name.

sometimes, when i see my roommate doing his architecture work, i feel jealous with him. he is definitely willing to sacrifice everything for architecture. browsing through his work, with no doubt, his skills in this field is far more better as compared to mine. i have tried to be like him, as in putting more efforts, trying to do more research, be more creative and other things that probably could boost up my skills but then, it is still not as good as what he has done. it might not a good design , but the work and presentation, definitely something which could covering everyone's eyes who are looking at it.

unlike my work, when involving computer, i am still a numb! i hate the fact that i am very very slow with technology. yes i have improved since the first time i came here but still not to the expected skills that i should have mastered!

anyway, how am i gonna grow more passion towards architecture? at this particular point i am writing this, my answer is a yes but it is a very slow progress. lets compare it with squash. i am one of the good squash players at my uni and i know that i have a very deep passion in squash! i could play non stop for six games everyday! but when involving design, i would rather to spare an hour per day! haha.

how about my part time as a waiter? yep, i am definitely one of the best! my customers could remember my name and they will definitely say hi to me whenever they see me after work. and sometimes, they only want me to serve them which is a great pleasure to me. n that grows my passion towards my job.

taking those two examples, i could conclude that my passion towards something can be grew if and only if, i get the LIMELIGHT! haha. in simple word, i only have a passion with something that could give me popularity! hahahahaha. so should i change my future career from an architect to an artiste? (OMG!) i am definitely gonna become the next siti nurhaliza, with millions and millions of awards every year! plus, i am actually can do better than her because i think i am one of the artiste with the brain ( hahahahhaha!)

ok i'm being lame but tracing back from all my success before, i work for publicity and popularity! so, relating back to architecture, the most reasonable reason which could boost up my passion is by being the top student in the class. i did it once during summer and i think i did the same last sem (owh hopefully the result is even better compared to my summer's). so, at the moment, the progress is increasing, getting developed day by day. i should make a plan and start make full use of my current holidays in improving my skills with the technology involving architecture. yes, i know i cando it!